| Character | Lines |
| Kermit | Hello and welcome to “The Muppet Show After Dark! “ Tonight we are joined by Gonzo who will be chatting with us about his polyamorous pansexual hermaphroditic chicken’s. Welcome to the show Gonzo. |
| Gonzo | Hello Kermit, it’s a pleasure to be here, thanks for having me on the show. |
| Kermit | Thanks for joining us I know you’re a very busy ma… uh… person. So tell me, how are things? |
| Gonzo | Well Kermit, as you know I have many chicken’s on my ranch. I’ve brought a few with me that I’d like to bring out for you to meet. |
| Kermit | ok that would be great |
| Gonzo | The first is a rooster, an alpha male named Daddy-o. |
| Kermit | nice to meet you… eh… Daddy-o |
| Gonzo | Next we have the alpha female, Mammasita. |
| Kermit | Nice to meet you Mamma. May I call you Mamma? |
| Mammasita | No |
| Gonzo | Next we have a hermaphrodite named Hermes. |
| Kermit | Hermes looks like a hen to me. |
| Gonzo | Yes, Hermes looks like a hen, but crows like a rooster. |
| Hermes | cockadoodledoo |
| Mammasita | I slept with Hermes |
| Daddy-o | Oh yeah! Well I did too! |
| Hermes | We’re polyamorous |
| Kermit | I’m sorry we’re out of time. Thanks for joining Gonzo and uh friends. |
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